DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
INTERNET SAFETY
For some victims it may be important to remember that computers keep records of where users have visited; which means that their abusers could become aware that they are seeking help via the Internet. Pressing ‘delete’ does not necessarily mean the file has disappeared from your hard drive.
It may be safer and easier for people seeking help to use a computer in a public place, such as a library, friends’ house or your workplace.
Other safety suggestions are to change your password often, do not pick obvious words or numbers for your password, and pick a combination of letters and numbers for your password.
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All Domestic Violence is wrong...
Domestic violence is essentially a pattern of behaviour characterised by the exercise of control and the misuse of power by one person, usually a man, over another, usually a woman, within the context of an intimate relationship. It is manifested in various ways, including, but not restricted to, physical, sexual, emotional and financial abuse, and the imposition of social isolation, and is most commonly a combination of them all.
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Whilst this definition does not include children, domestic violence affects children adversely and there is evidence that domestic violence often occurs alongside child and animal abuse within families. Child abuse can therefore be an indicator of domestic violence in the family and vice versa. |
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Victims with physical, mental and learning disabilities may have special difficulties in seeking help. |
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Domestic violence can take place in lesbian, gay, bi-sexual and transgender relationships. |
Who can be abused?
Studies show that domestic violence happens in all social groups and occurs amongst all racial and ethnic groups. Having wealth or being well educated doesn’t mean that domestic violence can’t happen.
What causes domestic violence?
Contrary to the popular view, alcohol, drugs or stress does not cause domestic violence. Alcohol and drugs may make violent behaviour worse, but the responsibility for the violence always lies with the perpetrator.
Domestic violence is usually a pattern of controlling behaviour, which gets worse over a period of time. The pattern can range from emotional bullying on the one hand to murder on the other.
Fact: 1 in 4 women experience domestic violence in their lifetime
Fact: 1 in 9 women will be severely beaten by her male partner each year
Fact: Over 2 women are killed every week by a current or ex-partner
Fact: 120 women are killed per year by a current or ex-partner
Fact: A current or former partner murders about 46% of women murdered each year. In contrast, a current or former partner murders about 4% of men murdered each year. Some of these men were also long term perpetrators of domestic violence, murdered by their victims.
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Making Plans Makes Sense…
If you or someone you know wants to leave a violent or abusive relationship, it helps to make plans.
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Always carry with you a list of emergency numbers |
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Get an extra set of keys cut for your home and car |
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Keep the keys and a set of clothes for you and your children packed and ready. Leave them somewhere safe, perhaps with a trusted friend or relative |
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Keep documents somewhere safe, ready to take – birth certificates, benefit books and passports |
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Try to save a small amount of money for bus, train or taxi fares |
If there is more time to plan, try to do as much as possible of the following:
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Leave when your partner is not around |
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Take all the children with you |
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Take all important legal papers and documents |
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Take any personal possessions that have sentimental value |
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Take any medicines you or your children might need |
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Take clothing to last several days |
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Arrange for pets to be cared for – a local animal charity may be able to help |
Remember… If you or someone you know is being abused:
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The victim is never to blame for the abuse |
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Only the abuser can change the abusive behaviour |
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Ignoring violence is dangerous |
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There is life after an abusive relationship |
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Don’t remain isolated – break the silence |
Ignoring domestic violence can be deadly.
Who can I contact for help and support?
For further contact telephone numbers and web addresses, please click into the A5 leaflet below:
I need a lot more detailed information about domestic Violence – where can I find this?
This is a full Directory of Services for the Colchester area, containing lots of detailed information about services, agencies and help and support available.
Domestic Violence in the work place…
Many victims of domestic violence don’t tell their employer about the abuse because they fear they won’t be believed, they feel ashamed or fear that they will lose their job. The victim may be in danger at work if the abuser knows where s/he works and is able to gain access.
Try and find out if there is someone you can talk to at work – perhaps the Occupational Health department, trade union rep or a trusted supervisor or manager.
If your employer is aware that you are having difficulties at home, she or he is more likely to understand and to offer you support when you need it. Domestic violence can impact on the work place in a number of ways, potentially affecting employees’ work performance and productivities, punctuality and attendance, career choices, job prospects and health & safety. Many workplaces are now developing Domestic Violence Policies as part of their role in helping to ensure the health, safety and welfare of their employees.
What is the Colchester Inter-Agency Domestic Violence Forum and what does it do?
The Colchester Inter-Agency Domestic Violence Forum, supported by Colchester Crime and Disorder Reduction Partnership, works primarily to address issues of domestic violence, and strives to deliver the actions and objectives required to meet the 2005-2008 Crime Reduction Strategy.
Who do I contact for further information on the Colchester Inter-Agency Domestic Violence Forum?
Chair of Colchester Inter-Agency Domestic Violence Forum
Linda Darrington
(Domestic Violence Liaison Officer for Essex Police Eastern Division Domestic Abuse & Hate Crime Unit)
Tel: 01206 717607
E-mail: Linda.Darrington@essex.pnn.police.uk
Vice Chair of Colchester Inter-Agency Domestic Violence Forum
Sonia Swallow
(Community Safety Officer for Colchester Borough Council and Colchester Crime & Disorder Reduction Partnership)
Tel: 01206 717818
E-mail: sonia.swallow@colchester.gov.uk
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